Sex isn’t an issue unless a couple isn’t having any!
I had my girlfriends over last night for one of our women ‘group hug’ gossip sessions, this house was bursting with laughter and for once they talked and I listened, I really listened. The conversation was varied, as usual ranging from marriage, men, work, children, of course man bashing and sex ->how to… when to… or lack of etc. My concentration stopped at LACK OF and still I kept silent, why? I don’t know… I do that a lot these days *shrugs*
I’m well aware that sex is not the most important part of a marriage/relationship, but it sure plays a big part.
When my sex life is hot, steamy and consistent in a POW WOW kind-of-way, I laugh louder and smile more, I’m calmer, the house is cleaner, I feel sexy, I have less ‘me time’ and more ‘we time’, I’m less stressed, edgy and more bouncy, when the phone rings I answer with that high-pitched friendly “Helloooo dzaaaarling, Hiiiii or Howziiiit” (depending on who’s calling) and not the usual groggy and grumpy “Yes, who’s this?” I sleep like a baby and I think my hair glows in the dark too.
See lack of sex in my world triggers the fight or flight attitude, which leads to self-silencing, bottling up my emotions, all sorts of unhealthy attention seeking behaviour and at times asking myself; Jezuz crust! Could he be Gay? and much more…
The spouse with the problem leading to no-sex-at-all is usually categorized as the woman, but fact is there are many men who just aren’t interested in sexing up their partners and they do NOT like talking about it, Leaving the poor lady cold, sleepless, tremendously frustrated, heartbroken, filled with anxiety and resentment and feeling unloved, uncared for and unattractive physically, mentally and sexually on the other side of the bed while assuming her new comfort position (most likely, the fetal position) while silently sobbing in her pillow every night for lack of physical affection.
Lack of sex in a relationship highlights the fact that there is no touching, no kissing, no cuddling, no physical connection (except for that occasional kiss on the forehead?!?) and is therefore breeding ground for hostile, pissy and cranky communication which could lead to damaging consequences *think Tiger Woods.*
Sex is a big part of life and missing it (especially from your spouse) is a sad, so very sad because “I love him so much” turns to “I tolerate him so much” and once the emotional strain of being the sex driven partner starts to eat you up inside and eat away at your relationship and you notice that the love you send out is not returning as it should. You realize that you have to decide if it is ALL worth it!!! for it takes two to tango and untangle akere?!
‘When everything else is in place in a relationship, the sexual interaction is still crucial. The intimacy that comes from sexual interaction takes the relationship to a completely different level.’ –Dr Phill