Being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) is not a result of marrying a “Rich” man, an old man whose life is about to expire, nor is it a life of “leisure” as some women and men for that matter term it. It is not a decision easily made which most of the time includes making that difficult transition from being a “high-powered career-driven woman in power suits and killer heels to being a homemaker.
A choice so rich and rewarding with a lot of challenges yet taken for granted by many. SAHM’s have the choice of going back to their careers believe it or not. Stay at home mom’s are educated women who sacrificed their careers to raise their children themselves and take care of their husbands and homes, they are underpaid non-vacationed yet very skilled domestic engineers.
As a (almost) 30-year-old woman, I am perceived by some acquaintances, friends and family members alike as a woman who lacks ambition, for putting what was my successful career aside to be a SAHM, which is not true. Thus making me ashamed in the past to utter it out loud when asked “what is it that you do?” If I was such a woman of leisure, then please explain what in Heavens Name I am doing up at 05:08 AM in the office (at home of course) not having slept a wink with a pad, pen and my desktop, instead of snoring the night away???
Since some are so quick to pass nay remarks and mysterious smirks (yes I see those too) let me break it down for you in a tone you can understand…
1. Yes I’m a wife to a Top Executive, think it’s rosy? wear my shoes for just 30 min and feel the reality. HOT hah?
2. DH (Dear hubby) works hard for his family, which at times requires him to go on frequent and lengthy business trip spending plenty of time away from home. Can you stay away from your man for a month? oh shoot, I forgot you don’t have one!!! Painful ain’t it? that’s how I feel when you call me a “woman of leisure”
3. I stay at home to manage and nurture my children, husband and marriage. Shopping is only but a minute benefit.
4. I choose to see my kids grow and do not want to be told, we all have the right to choose, right?
5. I realised shortly after I said “I DO” to my husband that I also said “I DO” to the corporation my hubby works for, but only attend necessary social functions.
6. I make it my business to be well-informed about hubby’s business/work yet choose not to meddle in how he goes about it on a daily, and still offer an ear at the end of every evening (where possible) as my role changes from SAHM to wife and family psychiatrist.
7. I am NOT Mrs. TOP EXECUTIVES wife, I have a name so please use it.
8. I don’t have a ‘typical’ day, remember I have a toddler who’s tantrums are at its peak and daughter who is 10 yrs going on 30.
9. I have good days and bad days and I am not yet menopausal. On good days, housework get’s done, baby fed on time, goes down for a nap when supposed to, I can find a bit of time to work, bath/shower myself, cook lunch and dinner, help my daughter with her homework, evening walk to the park, bath and tuck them in.
10. My typical day: you ready? Wake up when baby gets up, sometimes at 04:00am, change diaper, fix food for him, make sure I am awake, wake big sister up for school and help her get ready, fix coffee for hubby (when home), chase Lil man up and down the stairs to try get him to eat or dressed, turn on telly CNN (for hubby), make sure big sister is not running late for the school bus, clean up dishes/cups, clean the house, make some tea for me, play with Lil man, put in educational dvd then teach him the ABC’s and 123’s, laundry (hubby always needs clean shirts readily available), nap time for Lil man means speedy shower for me, then fit in Facebook and twitter (thank God I have it on my BB), fit in a bit of work/studying/writing, Lil man wakes, lunch time,clean up, change of clothes and nappy,get into the car and drive to play date/play group/swimming lessons or park until nap time,drive back home in time for big sis to get home from school and help with homework, dinner, bath, play time then bed.
My rewards in turn are wet sloppy kisses, WHY questions to every “STOP IT” (min 50 a day), dancing, laughing, hugs, Lil man sometimes helps with wiping the floor, making more of a mess but that is ok and Big Sis helps with the dishes, breaks a few glasses , that too is ok(sometimes).
All this done single-handed until I reached breaking point recently and decided to hire house help ‘God sent’!
When hubby comes home from work (when not traveling) he never really knocks off. You will find him in the office replying to emails or busy with conference calls that take forever, seriously!… when all I need is a little break to just lie down, read a magazine or just call my mom to vent!!! By the time I’m done with the kids and in need of some adult conversation to stimulate my mind instead of ‘gugu gaga’ my dearest hubby is in bed snoring away with a book on his chest. I then turn to Facebook ,Twitter and BBM (hubby HATES me being associated with these social networking sites including BBM, “Shame, he must just be strong!”). So when I take time out to fly home and visit my Mom, Dad and Siblings in South Africa without hubby and the kids it is 100% well deserved ME time.
You still think i am a woman of leisure???